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He cried himself to sleep. He went to therapy. He moved to new York city and tried to become an agent and drank alcohol frequently. In those dark years, he would run into people who expected the image jay williams once projected to the world: that of the clean-cut duke point guard who posed on the cover of Sports Illustrated in khakis and a lettermans jacket, flashing a thumbs. In strangers eyes, where he once saw awe or jealousy, he now saw pity, and from people, normal people, who could never understand the gifts he held that vanished on that street. At his lowest point, williams did more than consider suicide.
It took him that long to come to terms with the entirety of his story — high school all-American, national player of the year and national champion at duke,. 2 overall selection, and all that before the accident, before the hospital, before the injury that ended his professional career after one season and made him a retiree. In a series of interviews over the last three months, williams, for the first time, detailed all that he went through. For clinique years, williams struggled with depression. He refused to wear shorts or show anyone his left leg. He asked the inevitable: why me? He took too much pain medication, too much OxyContin in particular, for too long. He blew out the candles for his 22nd birthday in bed. He spent years in rehabilitation. He resented the teammates who lacked his drive but remained in the. B.A., collecting paychecks, accolades, even championship rings.
contraptions. Imagine the taunts, the ridicule, the built-in comeback — go buy another motorcycle, williams. Imagine walking through an airport — way to screw your life up, williams. Imagine working for, analyzing games — should have stuck to motorcycles, williams. Imagine life as the guy who Threw It All Away. Ive thought back to that moment a lot because people wont let me forget, williams said. And this might sound crazy, but it was the worst decision I made and the best thing that ever happened. He added, This isnt a pity story. Williams, 31, can say that now, more than nine years removed from the accident that nearly ended his life and irrevocably altered.
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They worried about amputation, about death. Williams remembered little but clung to an image from the scene, his first glance sideways as he spun. There it was: a red fire hydrant. He screamed: you threw it all away! You threw it all away! An Inescapable memory, imagine the worst buikhuid day of your life. Then imagine confronting that day every single day thereafter.
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' 'lichtblauw?' 'nee!' ik lachte zachtjes. ' anne kon niet eens meer bewegen, ze bleef naast ons naar het plafond kijken en haar prachtige borst aanraken en haar buik wrijven. 'Als je dat niet kan, dan moet je een rubbertje omdoen.' 'bij beide van ons!' haar zusje knikte ook. ' 'ja ik knikte en ik wilde vragen wat er aan de hand had, maar dat was misschien te onbeleefd. ' 'ik vertelde mijn moeder over jou.' 'echt waar?' ik schrok en verslikte. 'dat voelt lekker giechelde ze en ze maakte toen een grote o met haar lippen, de eerste keer dat ik mijn pik heel diep in haar kutje duwde! 'Als je ons uit elkaar kunt houden, dan je het doen zonder rubbertje en als je het niet kan, dan moet je een rubbertje omdoen.' ik moest erom lachen, want die twee meiden waren volkomen identiek!
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Williams clipped the pole with the left side of his body, which sent him spinning, around and around, over and over. He could not feel his left side, or anything from the waist down. He did not think about death, amputation or depression. He thought only about his career. He lay there, numb, in shock, terrified but so full of adrenaline that his body blocked out most of the pain. It felt as if someone were pouring water on him. He passed out and woke up in an ambulance, passed out again and woke up in a hospital. Even the doctors looked scared. They needed to contact his parents, needed to operate immediately.serum